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Do You Remember, Love?
Do you remember, love?
How you would tempt me,
So expertly, so slyly,
Blinding me with desperation,
Or was it loneliness?
Oh, how naive I was,
How young and gullible,
Yet you twisted me and toyed with me,
As if I was your puppet on a string.
Do you remember, love?
How I fell for it,
I fell for your promises of happiness,
And your lies about my "happy ever after" with my prince.
It was pure bliss,
I was flying above the clouds with love,
Yet the love was so short lived.
Do you remember, love?
When your devious plot truly succeeded,
How you kicked me to the curb
With nothing but a chipped heart
And a flickering soul....
What You WillI am not your possession,
Nor am I your toy,
I'm just a fleeting obsession,
To hide guilt and deliver joy.
Don't act like I'm dumb,
Don't think that I do care,
Your lies have left me numb,
I know you sense it in my stare.
Think what you will of me,
But don't think you understand,
What it is to be cruelly free,
And to hold no-ones hand.
I know you're better than I,
And I know you know it too,
But at least I'm brave enough to die,
Something you're far too scared to do.
Everything I Want To BeI want to write something poignant and moving.
It will make you cry and make you laugh.
It will win awards and give me prestige.
It will change someone's life.
I want to write something hilarious and heart-wrenching.
It will make and break relationships because of realizations of truth.
It will make you think differently than before you cracked open the first page.
It will make you want to read it again and again and again.
I want to write something that means something.
It will be translated into language after language, copy after copy published.
It will be read in schools, but the kids will actually enjoy it. Even after the thing
AddictionMy friend who supports me
My friend who kills me
My friend who loves me
and who I certainly love.
Will you give it to me
Your narcotic vengeance
Which I crave so much
and I want it to take me
Oh, my putrid friend
My sweet enemy
Will you take my conciousness
and leave it behind?
I love you my strange friend.
Give me what I want.
and you shall have me
For your disposal.
Learning To TrustTell me a story about your life
And I'll tell you mine
Give me a reason not to lie
So I'll tell you the truth, next time
Whisper a secret in my ear
And I'll tell you a tale
Forgive me but this is my fear
I despise talking in detail
Give me a reason not to scream
And I'll tell you why it hurts
It's like acid in my bloodstream
This terror of being attached
Sorry if I ask for too much
For I am still learning
How to Trust
Trying To Let You Go.You've hurt me so bad;
why do I still want you?
Why do I still need you?
I can't let go
of your pretty smile,
of your perfect
I know you've moved on,
and you've left me in the dust.
I'm nothing but a mere memory
confined to the depths of your soul.
I'm hanging on by a small thread.
Why can't I let go?
How to Keep It A SecretCareful, careful you don't want to die
Do it right and people won't cry
Take a knife and hold it to your wrist,
Run it across and don't you dare twist.
Stay quiet, quiet, and don't say a word
If you do, they'll think your absurd.
Don't make a sound and you won't hear them quip
Scream out loud and you'll get the whip.
They'll lock you up and call you crazy,
Force pills down your throat to put you in a dazy
So when you find your little friend
Keep him safe until the very end.
Never, ever let him go
If you do, we'll be sure to know.
MadnessYou ever looked into the eyes of madness?
In those eyes...
There are colors in black and white
there is sound in silence
there is relief in pain
there is divinity in evil
there is sanity in insanity
there is despair in hope
but all I could see was beauty
maddening, horrifying, terrible beauty
I don't think I will survive
looking in those eyes ever again
but sometimes it is so tempting...
PainLet's end it quick
and end it now
All I have to do is pick,
that one one thing she won't allow
I've just been wondering around,
always looking down,
trying to block out the sound,
and hiding my frown,
I'm not fine,
I'm not okay,
I'm not smart,
I'm anything but that now,
Seventy-five times, I screwed up,
Seventy-five times, I've been afraid,
Seventy five times, I picked it up,
The lovely cold metal blade,
I want to die at this moment,
from all of my regrets,
To her though, I made a commitment
But I hope she forgets...
There's no problem,
I'm just not sleeping,
I'm just so solemn,
Broken and weeping
Can I stop breathing
ChaosI know every word hurts inside,
I'm so close to say goodbye.
I tried so hard to find my home,
All we have left is fight our war.
I've gone through this, I belong to here,
Where I was a stranger in my own dream.
Tried to find my face in the real life,
Lost everything in the fields of scars.
I knew the ugly truth all the way,
Scared to open my eyes and awake.
The borders are slowly vanishing,
While I'm thinking about all my sh*t.
There are no colours in the world,
We forget about the true words.
The sun doesn't warms us anymore,
There isn't a thing I would live for.
I searched for a f*cking thing that worths for living,
Things UnbiddenThese things in mind
Unbidden they come
I don't know why
Or where they're from
But still they hurt
Like a sharpened knife blade
Carving into my heart
Will they never fade?
Like ice in the air
They freeze my heart
Will my mind ever part
February 5, 2012
This is the final time,
No need for either of us to cry.
This is just right.
I can't take all the fight.
I'm sick of the pain,
Sick of watching you leave me.
I'm sick,and my body can't do this anymore.
This is the final time,
This is our final
This is all I seem to know,
These tears just seem to flow and flow.
They never stop, even when my eyes are bright.
Just because my eyes are dry, doesn't mean my soul doesn't cry.
And those are the tears that nobody ever seems to see.
The tears that kill you without ever flowing.
And everybody goes on not knowing.
All the tears that are slowly and continously flowing and flowing...
PretendingTired of pretending to be happy while your not
Pretending that everything will be alright
That it will just come
Knowing that there is hope
Yet deep inside
This little doubt
Petite as it is
Grows as age gets nearer
Pretending to be patient
Waiting for something to happen
While there is a possibility that it will never happen
Pretending not to be affected
Yet I am deep inside
Pretending to be eager
But lazy in a way
Life is full of it
Full of charade
Pretending that maybe
My life is just messy
In my way
One thing is for sure
Never stop to believe
That every hardship
Has happiness in return
The Question of LoveI cry silent tears all night,
is this all right
I ask the day,
will this ever be okay
I wonder around,
please stop this world from spinning round
Why must I be this way,
I scream, "Now go away!"
I start to get sleepy,
you cry so tearfully
The light starts to smear,
i feel the pain of the spear
All i see is black,
now I want you back
I have one last thing to say to you,
goodbye, I'm sorry that I loved you.
Do you know the taste of the universe?One day, when you’re five years old and made out of fractured sunlight and mirror shards, you sit down on the bench of the MAX train. You’re dressed in your winter coat and boots that are too big and one of your parents has pulled your hat too close over your ears.
You’re sitting next to your mother, and on the other side is a man that smells like loneliness, something that you’ll later know as cigarettes and alcohol and homelessness. He’s crying quietly into the top of his jacket and you’re scared to look because you’ve never seen an adult cry.
The train ride goes on for five minutes, which is a lo
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`anmari has been spreading her infectious positivity throughout our community for over 6 years. Throughout this time Ana has been at the core of all things devious, passionately developing an eclectic gallery, helping organise devmeets, participating in chat events and also recently completed dedicating her time as a Community Volunteer. We are absolutely delighted to bestow the Deviousness Award for May 2013 to `anmari, congratulations! Read More